Hard Drive Email Recovery from Meteorites

Unlocking Data from Meteorites

Recent ground breaking research work into the interpretation of data written to meteorites has revealed new and alarming results. The work has been undertaken at Manchester University Geological Institute of Solar System Environmental Research by Professor Yuri Hilber in collaboration with the Computer Science Department.

The research has involved a detailed study of data retrieved from a meteorite that was previously on display at the Natural History Museum on Oxford Road, Manchester . The Meteorite has now been called the “Hilberite” rock and is the first to be studied as an example of  inter-galactic  recorded magnetic patterned media.

Professor Yuri Hilber in treating the meteorite as a Hard Drive Email Recovery project has determined that the Hilberite rock is an example of interplanetary communications from an era that existed  “pre anything we know about. “

The Hilberite rock was once of a quantifiable regulatory shape and size much the same as the standard shapes and sizes used in todays postal system that most of us are familiar with. (it is now thought that the Cambridge Meteorite is an unformatted example,  a bit like an addressed envelope you forgot to put a letter in. )

The data structures retrieved from the Hilberite rock, clearly show a complex addressing system involving the name and address of the sender and that of the intended recipient etc .,  plus a complex interplanetary routing path, times of delivery , and lots of other eye watering detail and “what ifs” such as “billing address not known”  then  “return to Deimos” for debt collection.

So What is the Hilberite Rock doing in Manchester?

Current thinking is that the Hilberite rock got hit by interplanetary  spam giving it its current appearance as a “crushed parcel in the post”, (see the illustration, QED)  The impact having disturbed its delivery path information  and that it had been bouncing about in the “space post”  for millenniums.

Ok we all know  how bad the post is,  what is  in the email!

One of the major challenges faced by Yuri was to decipher and decrypt the message detail. Firstly it was written in a specific dialect of Martian called Noahish, spoken by the Noahish  people from a country on Mars. Secondly it was encrypted and contained a number of passwords.

Datlabs Technicians who are familiar with dealing with all manner of alien instructions , worked on Yuris basic image data to remove the passwords and return to him the Martian dialect cuneiform. Once Yuri had the hang of the language written to the rock, the information we are just beginning to recognise as of great historical  significance ,  just continued to spill out . ( just a standard service from Datlabs and knighthoods not expected)

Unlike the trivial stuff we put in our emails today, the emails exchanged between life forms in those days contained many google bytes of data. The Hilberite rock being an example; it is essentially a hard drive email who’s delivery address would have been read by its proxy planet postal department matched with its own solar system post code, (similar  to a  level 1 ip )  and then scheduled for delivery docking.  The Hilberite was created and sent  by  a Martian called Boron and is addressed to the Department of Solar System Environment and Recreation (DOSSER) whose headquarters were once at Urbanus City in the Northern Territory of  Uranus.

The masses of information contained in the Hilberite rock paints a picture of a Solar System which was once upon a time quite a lively place, the system being full of  intelligent life forms on every planet and moon, apart from planet Earth  (nothing new there !)

The Hillberite Hard drive email is basically a long winded complaint by Boron addressed to the DOSSER official responsible for dealing with a planning order made by Boron that details the proposed development of the planet Earth as a Martian package holiday resort.

As you would imagine, typical of any planning department,  there are lots of boring detail here.

Buried in the texts however is a real insight into some aspects of  Boron’s order that now explains some of the previously unresolved mysteries of life as we know it on Earth.  The deciphering of the Hilberite data is an unparalleled step forward ( a leap for mankind) in the field of scientific discovery that is poised to have  major implications for the future of the human race.
Unlocking the Hilberite and the mysteries of our planet.
It is impossible to present all the detail within the context of this blog. Those  nerdy students who like to trade  cyber waffle  may like to contact GISS directly and propose a research fellowship.  Those of us who are prepared to deal with the meat and potatoes of  Yuri’s findings can read my few humble notes regarding the research that now trumpets a sea change in our understanding of  human history.
Death of the Dinosaurs.
The riddle of the death of the Dinosaurs is now revealed as a simple result of the pest control application made by Boron.  Apparently the dinosaurs were a well known pest life form hanging about in the the solar system and had been eliminated from all other planets bar earth. Under  Boron’s application the dinosaurs  had been scheduled for clearance using the temporary introduction to  the Earth of another pest life form that Boron refers to simply as Cniditis Cameratus. The dinosaurs were found to be addicted to eating the jelly like creature Cniditis Cameratus and Cniditis Cameratus existence  depended entirely on passing through the dinosaurs digestive system and devouring the primary motor area of the Dinosaurs brain leaving the creature completely immobilised or barking mad.    Once all the Dinosaurs had disappeared Cniditis Cameratus   also died out and being of a jelly like substance left no evidence of its passing.

The Mystery of Measuring Time.

The riddle as to why we resolve time into minutes and hours has been finally laid bare by the Hilberite  project.

Its worthwhile mentioning two things here;  The longevity of the Martians, your average Martian life expectancy is recorded on the Hilberite hard disk as in excess of 1,000,000 years.  A Martian year at the time of the Hilberite was 666 earth days  and that the Martian Year was divided into 3 seasons  Actus, Ethus and Ergus ,   i.e. 111 days , 222 days,  and   333days respectively. Actus being the holiday period for the Martians when they just enjoyed kicking back , shooting the breeze and other such stuff too graphic to detail here. However what is revealed in the Hilberite is that the Martians hibernated for a period of precisely 66 days each year during Actus leaving 51 effective active days in that season year and also a major confusion that now exists between  real time and Martian Time.

This disparity between;  life expectancy on earth, the earth year and that of the Martians,  had a few draw backs.  Not least, the hedonistic holidaying Martian would in fact lose a small part of his or her life expectancy by visiting Earth, (So who misses a slice off a cut loaf ,  a bit like  booze and fags it gets us all at some time) .  The other major issue was how to schedule Martian travel to and from Earth,  at the right time and ensure the earthlings had the rooms and the pool  clean on arrival and that Martians were awake to receive their check in details. This turned out to be a major head scratcher for Boron and his team.  Mars and earth at the time of the Hillberite aligned every 666 days providing an ideal portent for an early Actus Martian escape when the married Martians kids were still at school.  So getting the sums right at either end of the journey was essential  and would determine the success of the whole venture i.e.  Boron had concluded that his  holiday flight scheduling  could only happen with Martian intervention ( a bit like Rotherham council) and had applied to DOSSER for an intervention order.

Most prior attempts by the earthlings at putting in place numbering systems and representation of time had proved pathetic.  Candles with lines on, numbers shown as letters of an alphabet etc. Boron under the intervention order had sent two of his accounts clerks Vedas and Ramas off to earth to sought out the problem and introduce a sexagesimal counting system that would allow a simple deduction of planetary alignment involving the 600 “non duvet”  days available to the Martian population.  Ramas and Vedas mission was to educate what intelligent life they could find on Earth in order that they could  accurately record matters of time and quantities of stuff. This being  essential to the efficient management of the Martian on line booking system for  All In Inclusive packages to Earth and the development of  areas on Earth that Martians would  like to have fun in , like goofing about in the sand dunes of the Middle East or Skiing in the Himalayas.
Evidence of Vedas and Ramas success remain:
Vedas and Ramas took a soft landing in a location we now recognise as  somewhere near Baghdad and took it upon  themselves to educate a people called the Babylonians.  Preserved Babylonia tablets show clear symbols that relate to the arrival of Vedas and Ramas. A Martian is shown as the symbol  (|) and  their space ship symbol  (<) denoting  base 60. This is now embedded in our measure of time as minutes and hours used today and is  ideal for  anticipating the arrival of Martian package holiday excursions. The simple removal of hibernation time from the Martian year clock by Ramas and Vedas resulted in a greater possible range of  factors to divide their year into and also predict  Martian and Earth time alignment.   i.e.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 15, 20, 24, 25, 30…, 40, 50, 60, 75, 100, 120, 150, 200, 300, and 600. notably  600 days in the year, 24 hours in the day and 60 minutes in the hour etc..   Having knocked a few Babylonian heads together to understand this bit of simple stuff they then whizzed off  to blow their expenses allowance on some extreme sports in the Himalayas.

Following the ironing board ski challenge down K2,  Ramas took a bit of time out to teach the locals some big binary number theory. Big Numbers being needed for calculating travel times over long distances. The actual application of this is only just beginning to sink in here on Earth! however the Ramas intervention  is evidenced in the epic poem Ramayana which describes the followers of Rama as numbering 100001000010000000100010000010000100000100010000010001000000000(5) !  in binary or decimal this is clearly a lot of followers and a big number. (draw your own conclusions here)

The two interplanetary travelers, apparently really enjoyed their quick all expenses paid break on Earth but had,  not wanting to leave , delayed their return departure until the last minute, leaving their followers  distraught  and   in a state of   lamentation and confusion, mainly at the  prospect that one day they as lowly earthlings might have accompanied Ramas and Vedas  to a destination where they also could  enjoy a relatively long and near eternal life !  A matter which  Boron  has recorded  might now need a little tidying up in terms of the “Earthlings  expectations of life ” ( sic)  and also the conditions of non interference detailed in the planning order. DOSSER having contested that the conditions of the intervention order had been flouted by Ramas and Vedas during their visit , the pair having  damaged a few things !

More to follow as Yuri completes his studies..

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